2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
