1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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