so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
