Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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