watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
