I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Randomize
