1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
