You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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