Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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