so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
