Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
