Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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