forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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