my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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