i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize