Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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