think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
