How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize