i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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