I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
