I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
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When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
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He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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