Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
