that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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