Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
