I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
