I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
