Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
