You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
