Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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