My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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