One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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