I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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