I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
