I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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