I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
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Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
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So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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