It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
