We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Too much gin, very little bucket
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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