Sry I called you an 8
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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