I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you told grandpa to call you daddy
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
