im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
