But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
