when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
