I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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