You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
