Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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