I have demons in me.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
