So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
