Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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