Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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