I could have mohawked her pubes.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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