I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
