we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
