He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
