Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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