If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
