i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
