But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My hand turned me down
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
