oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
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He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
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I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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