she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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