PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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